Missing Smiles

I had a tough time last night when we got home. I'm really struggling with this whole daycare thing. Yesterday was day 2, and I had hopes that the day would go much better. In a sense it did, but I think only because of Mommy's intervention. I went up to get Emma for a feeding around 10:30 a.m. -- when I got there I wasn't greeted with ANY smiles. I could tell instantly that she was exhausted. And sure enough, after eating (down in my office this time), she instantly fell asleep. So I laid her in the pack 'n play set up in my office and she took a THREE HOUR NAP!!! Only possible because of the quietness of my office. She just can't seem to nap up in the room with all of the other screaming babies, workers conversing, and sometimes music playing loudly. A baby's sleep cycle is about 45 minutes long....if conditions are right, they can transition into a new cycle without completely waking up. If conditions are NOT right, they awake and can't return to sleep. This is what's happening to our Peach. Anyhow, I had to wake Emma up to eat at 2:00 because I had a meeting at 3, and b/c I ended up doing both the morning and afternoon feedings, I told the daycare staff to go ahead and feed her a bottle at 5:00, which she ended up refusing...but fortunately ate once she'd had a nap at home.

Okay...so here's my problem. My poor little girl isn't sleeping well during the day and, in her constant state of exhaustion, just isn't the smiley little munchkin we have been enjoying the last couple of weeks. I miss the smiles, the cooing, and her generally sunny disposition. Instead she's in a tired stupor. My heart is broken. Poor Jon -- all he can do it try to reassure me and give me looks of sympathy as I cry. He tells me about all of the millions of kids who do just fine in daycare...and tells me to pray that God might provide a different job for him so that I can stay home with our girl. That truly is my heart's desire. Being in a leadership role at work is exhausting me. I need a break from being the one at which "the buck stops." (Where did that phrase originate from, anyway?)

On a postive sleep note...Emma has resumed sleeping through the night. Two nights ago she woke at 4:30 in the morning rather than making it through until 6:00. Now things are back to normal on that front.

Angie, one of my coworkers, is in the hospital being induced. They don't know if it's a girl or a boy, so we'll all be in for a big surprise! We're hoping to visit her tomorrow...and I can't wait to take a picture of Emma next to the new baby. I can hardly remember what a newborn feels like. I suspect I'll be SHOCKED by how big Emma will appear next to him/her.

We're having guests for dinner tomorrow night...a guy Jon works with and his girlfriend. I've not met either one of them before, so I'm hopeful that conversation will flow smoothly and that they'll feel comfortable in our home. We want to start having people in more frequently since it's difficult to take Emma out. Somehow, though, the weeks slip by and we suddenly realize we've not been very social!

Enough for now.